


Lost Stars

by voiceoftreas0n



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Romantic Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Written before season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 12:50:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17080634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voiceoftreas0n/pseuds/voiceoftreas0n
Summary: It was an odd game of Tug-of-War they played, Katie mused.Each day proved to be a test of how far they can pull before reaching the threshold from friendship to something more and for once Katie Holt—technical genius—was genuinely confused.First off, how could it be Tug-of-War if they were both clearly pulling in the same direction?





	Lost Stars

**Author's Note:**

> haven't posted much kidge in a while SO here. this was my entry for the 2017 Pidge Shipping Zine with a few edits here and there since i didn't have to stick to a word count to post on AO3. 
> 
> note that this was written before S3 and onwards and therefore doesn't include plot points featured from flashbacks from said seasons.
> 
> now, on to the story!

Keith could only hope he wouldn’t actually choke on his tie later that night.

“Are you sure I’m the one you should be taking?”  The question was kind of useless considering he and Shiro were already dressed to the nines and headed towards the Garrison’s event hall.

Keith felt a wrench in his gut nonetheless, and as they neared the entrance, it only seemed to tighten.

Shiro nodded.

“Confident,” his mentor put a hand on his shoulder.

The usually comforting gesture was surprisingly ineffective in easing Keith’s anxiety.

He released a heavy breath. “You know I don’t mix well with people, right?”

“You’re not gonna embarrass yourself.”  

_What If_ I  _embarrass_ you _?_ The intrusive thought cut through his conscience.  

Shiro squeezed his shoulder once before taking his hand off. “I know you’ll do fine. Besides, the Gala will be good practice for you.”

“Practice?”

For what?

The next time he ends up in an uncomfortable but mandatory social event? He’s had enough of that, thank you very much.

Shiro only grinned.

“For when you pilot the next interplanetary mission, of course.”

Before Keith could say anything else, they had already arrived at the entrance.

His mentor turned to him one last time. “Ready?”

Keith gave him a shaky nod.

And then they enter the hall in a storm of lightning-like flash photography and thunderous applause.

 

* * *

 

Katie should be proud of her dad and brother.

Here she was at the press launch for the mission that could mark history for ages to come and she was feeling less ecstatic and more uneasy.

Maybe it was the impending dread of other people’s expectations.

The weight of her brother and father’s legacy was already resting heavy on her shoulders and Katie couldn’t really bring it in her to be so excited for that.

The most she could do right now is to try and enjoy the event as best she can.

The Q & A portion had ended a few minutes ago, and now everyone was spread out the event hall, socializing.

All except her.

In a room full of important adults, no one really wanted to talk to the teenager who was only there because of family.

Even if said family were the Guests of Honor themselves.

Not that Katie minded the lack of attention; she was content where she was, away from the crowd and not having to entertain questions from strangers. From where she stood, she had a good view of the entire hall.  

After noting the locations of her family and Shiro, Katie took the liberty to take a better look around.

Waiters holding trays of champagne flutes floated around in a strange orbit. Some women flocked together, most likely complementing each other’s outfits. Then there was Commander Iverson, off to the side with a few fellow officers.

(She’ll never know what it was about the man that made Katie _not_ trust him, but oh well.)

Sighing, Pidge took her gaze off the officer to survey more of the event.  

And that’s when she saw him.

A boy in Matt’s year, maybe younger. Posture tall but slightly awkward.

_And most likely trying his best to avoid the crowd too_ , Katie thought. Then she remembered Matt saying something about Shiro bringing his protege of sorts.

Keith...was that his name?

It must be him—if the profile her brother had given was anything to go by. Katie gave him another once-over.

Dark hair.

Omnipresent scowl.

Uncomfortable in social situations.

_Yep,_ Katie thought, taking note of his features. _Definitely him._

She couldn’t help but smile.

 

* * *

 

When Shiro first brought up the event being a formal one, Keith knew the rest of the guest list would be comprised of high-ranking Garrison officers, journalists, and contributing investors.

Nowhere did Keith think that anyone his age would be in attendance.

Yet now the idea was proven to be a reality when Keith met a hazel-colored gaze a few feet away from where he stood.

The girl seemed to be in his year, and she greeted him with a shy smile.

At this, Keith pondered on the idea of smiling back. What were the odds that he’d run into a schoolmate at this event anyways?

But then again there was no guarantee she was a schoolmate of his despite her looking _eerily_ familiar...

“Katie!”

Shiro’s voice halted his train thought. From his peripheral, Keith noticed that both he and the girl turned to the sound of his mentor’s voice and that Matt was grinning behind Shiro.

Keith offered his own smile. He may not be as close to Matthew Holt the way Shiro was, but they were on friendly terms.

Friendly enough for Matt to want to introduce his little sister.

The very same girl he had just seen and was now walking towards them.

“Keith!” Matt called as soon as he as close enough. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You some kind of ninja or something?”

This brought a chuckle out of him. On impulse, Keith darted his eyes over to Katie.

He couldn’t help but grin when he saw her laugh as well.

“Maybe.”

“Don’t let his head get too big.” Shiro chided. “Anyways Keith,” he started gesturing to the girl. “This is—”

“This is Katie,” Matt cut Shiro off, flashing his pilot a death glare.

Apparently introducing the younger sister was a right exclusive to the older sibling.

Katie rolled her eyes before turning to him. “You must be Keith,” she said, smile still on her face as she lifted one hand for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Keith had half the mind to mirror the gesture. “Likewise.”

_Her hands were pretty calloused for a girl_.

He quickly stabbed the thought out as he pulled his hand away.

“So anyways, Shiro here was talking to me about there being an opening for research interns from the aerospace engineering dept…” with the way Matt trailed off, Keith could tell it was meant more as an invitation than a statement.

Katie looked thrilled.

“Really?”

Shiro nodded with a smile, the same kind of smile that Keith remembered he would give when he was particularly excited about something as well.

“Yep.”

She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. “When are applications?”

“It’s still under wraps for now, but I’ll let you know as soon as I get more details.”

Keith furrowed a brow. “You sure you have to wait for Shiro? Can’t you just ask your dad?”

Katie shook her head.

“Just leave her be, Keith.” Matt shook his head. “As much as she loves me and Dad,  she’s more determined to get in by herself.”

It was funny how a single sentence already spoke volumes about someone.

For a moment, Keith was only amazed. He may have just met her, but right then he knew that Katie Holt was a force to be reckoned with.

And judging by the cheeky grin she’s giving him, she was not only aware but also very _proud_ that fact.   

“Matt? Shiro? Can I have a moment of your time?”

Just like that, the moment was broken.

The four of them turned to a young man wearing a press ID. The two eldest flashed the younger two apologetic looks.

“I’ll see you later, Pidge,” Matt said before ruffling the top of his sister’s head. He turned to Keith. “Pretty sure you two wouldn’t mind being alone together for a bit?”

“Sure,” they answered simultaneously.

Shiro smiled then offered a wave. “We’ll get back to you in a bit.”

The two of them watched as the two-thirds of the Kerberos crew made their way over to a designated interviewing area.  

“So,” Keith started, turning to Katie. “Pidge?”

She let out a groan. “Ugh, _don’t_ get me started on that.”

“Long story?”

“The longest.”

“Pretty sure I’ve got time.”

“So, it started when I was eight and went off looking for the Sasquatch. Don’t laugh. Anyways, I thought I could find him in the daytime and I ventured really deep into the woods that time my family and I went camping. It didn’t end well only because I saw something move thinking it was it, then it ended up just being a flock of pigeons. Dad took it upon me to call me his Little Pigeon after that. Not an official nickname, just a little term of endearment every once in awhile, but Matt took it a step further and started calling me Pidgey when we got the first gen Pokemon games and from there it just shortened to Pidge and now I’m rambling. Am I rambling? ”

Keith blinked, then shook his head. “No, go on.” Quite a lot of backstory. “You said something about looking for the Sasquatch?”

The way Katie smiled at the question told his gut that no way was the conversation going to die out.

It didn’t.

Turns out that as soon as Matt and Shiro were dragged away by one journalist, it was a cue for all the others that they were open for exclusive one on one interviews.

This meant that he had to spend the rest of his evening with her.

Not that he minded.

He didn’t.

Not a single bit.

.

.

.

It wasn’t until guests started leaving and the party dwindled to a close that Keith realized they had spent most of it in each other’s company.

“Can I have your number?” Keith asked as the chairs were being put away and the people started to file out.

She nodded and pulled out her handheld from her purse. “Oh, sure.”

Keith tried his best to ignore the way Matt was staring at him suspiciously before leading his sister out of the event hall.

And if Shiro was throwing him knowing smirks on the way back to their dorm, he pretended not to notice.

 

* * *

  

**Unknown Number:** is this katie’s phone?

**Katie Holt:** the one and only

**Keith Kogane:** good to know

**Katie Holt:** what was that you said about getting a trail on mothman?

**Keith Kogane:** i got all the feed on my flashdrive if you want it

**Katie Holt:** i’d love to have a look, if that’s alright?

**Keith Kogane:** sure. you free this saturday?

**Katie Holt:** yep!

**Keith Kogane:** alright. here’s my address XXXXXXX

**Katie Holt:** thanks! I’ll see you on saturday, then?

**Keith Kogane:** looking forward to it.

 

* * *

 

So maybe Katie Holt was nothing close to what Keith ever expected her to be.

It’s been a solid month since the press launch and by then he had already learned enough about Katie than he dare say he needed to know.  

She was definitely brilliant; a Holt through and through.

It seemed like there wasn’t anything she didn’t have prior knowledge on, and in the event that that was the case, Katie was all the more determined to find out for herself.

It was both admirable and terrifying that she was inquisitive to a fault.

She was still a force to be reckoned with, but the fact sort of settled with Keith in a way that left him in awe instead of wary.   

Though, the more time Keith spent with her, the more he realized that Katie Holt was...well, _human._

If their shared interest in cryptozoology and space was anything to go by, there was also the fact that Pidge was sarcastic and had a penchant for getting into mischief.

Like right now.

In his car.

About to go a couple miles upstate for an exclusive expo upon her insistence.

Despite her telling their respective guardians they were going downtown for brunch.

( _“What Shiro won’t know won’t kill him_.” _Katie chided with her signature half-smirk as she got in the passenger seat._

_“Whatever,” Keith grumbled as he put the key in the ignition. There was no way he could say no to her anyways.)_  

“I still think this is a bad idea.” It was about the seventh time he had said that. Pidge remained unfazed.

Maybe the warning had already lost effect.

Or maybe because they were already at the convention center’s parking lot—much too far and too late to have any impact.  

Keith turned off the engine and turned to her, finding her feet still on the dashboard and that stupid grin still on her face.

He rarely ever considered Katie to even be human upon meeting her, but now with that aside he can pay attention to more _crucial_ details.

Like the fact that she was a girl.

_A really pretty girl who was constantly in his personal space whom he often found himself staring at from time to time._

This happened to be one of those times.

Her hair had definitely grown out ever since the gala, now almost waist-length and curling at the ends and her eyes only seemed to grow brighter.  

“What?”

At this, Keith looked away, blatantly ignoring how his whole body seemed to vibrate despite the vehicle having already been turned off under him.

“It’s nothing.”

A beat of uncharacteristic silence from Katie.

“Come on, let’s go. Line’s getting long.”

For once, Katie Holt didn’t bother prying.

 

* * *

  

**Nerd:** _keith there’s still a special playing on NG right now get over here_

**Emo:** wtf is emo still my nickname

**Nerd:** i’m not changing yours unless you change mine

**Emo:** touche.

**Emo:** i’ll be over in half an hour ****  

 

* * *

 

It was an odd game of Tug-of-War they played, Katie mused.

Now, she didn’t have to be the most knowledgeable when it came to human emotion.

The thing was, she _wasn’t._

And even then, Pidge managed to notice.

His hand moved from planting on her shoulder to making the small of her back its usual spot.

Scowls turned to warmer, fonder looks.

Personal space became relinquished.    

Each day proved to be a test of how far they can pull before reaching the threshold from friendship to something more and for once Katie Holt—technical genius—was confused.

First off, how was it Tug-of-War if they were both obviously pulling in the same direction?   

“Something wrong?” Keith asked. His tone that made the question sound genuinely worried and it made something in Katie’s stomach flutter.   

Where his hand laid mere inches away from touching her made the butterflies feel more like birds.  

Katie let out a breath before pulling her hand away he could even touch it.

There were two things that Katie had learned about Tug-of-War.

First was that someone always ended up pulling too much.

Second was that the other always ended up gasping as they struggle to hold on.  

This time, it’s Pidge who was on her knees.

There was close but then there was _close_.

Too close of a position for a pair of friends to find themselves in.

She gave Keith a small shake of her head and a smile.

“It’s nothing.”

 

* * *

 

The VIP Stands for the Kerberos Launch weren’t very spacious, but they were enough to comfortably accommodate the needed officials and family of the crew.

It was a miracle no one else heard how Keith’s heart thrummed violently against his ribs.

“Are you nervous?”

He may not be the one in the cockpit of that ship, but he felt the nerves nonetheless.

_Two minutes until launch_. An automated voice called from the PA system.

“Keith?”

Two minutes till the mission of the lifetime.

Two minutes and then he won’t be seeing Shiro for a whole year.

They had already bid their goodbyes enough times, but there was still a longing, an ache deep in his chest that made him shake-

“Keith!”

The hand that had entwined itself with his brought him back better than the sound of his name being called a third time.

Keith turned to the source.

It’s Katie. Just Katie.

“You alright?”

He managed a stiff nod in response.

“You’re lying.”

He nodded at that, too.

Katie tightened her grip around him.

“They’ll be alright. The three of them have been training for this for months.”

Keith found it in him to squeeze back.

Their fingers remain intertwined as they watched the ship soar above and beyond their atmosphere.

 

* * *

 

“Is that Orion’s Belt or Cassiopeia?” Pidge asked as she stared up at the speckled darkness above them.

Her hair was out of its ponytail, now sprawled over the blanket Keith had brought along, with a few ends curling past the fabric seams and onto the dirt. Katie usually hated the outdoors, but at the moment it was night and they were in the desert.

No threat of sunburn and poison oak to hamper her mood.

“No, that’s Orion’s Belt. Three stars in a line.” he corrected her.

The company helped an awful lot, too.

“Think they’re pointing out constellations up there too?” Keith asked. Neither of them felt the need to look at each other as they spoke.  

“Matt, probably. And Dad. Knowing Shiro he’s probably making sure everything’s in order even with autopilot on.”

She felt the blanket under her head shift as Keith nodded.  

“True.”

Their hands were entwined as they watched the craft go up into the sky and once more they come together as they pictured how it was doing as it went further and further into the stars than anyone could’ve imagined.

They remained tangled as they walked back to Keith’s car.

.

.

.

They don’t talk about that the next day.

Or the day after that.  

 

* * *

 

**Katie:** are you busy tonight?

**Keith:** not really. what’s up?

**Katie:** the sky’s looking pretty clear tonight

**Keith:** i’ll pick you up in ten minutes

**Katie:** wait isn’t it curfew?

**Keith:** what the garrison doesn’t know won’t kill them

**Katie:** i’ve really been rubbing off on you, huh?

**Keith:** more than you should

**Katie:** is that a good thing or a bad thing?

**Keith:** a good thing

**Keith:** about to sneak out. call you when i’m on the road.

**Katie:** alright. drive safe.

 

* * *

 

Camping out in the desert to gaze at the stars suddenly became monthly routine for them.

Near the end of every month if the sky was clear enough, Keith would pick Katie up from home and they’d end up staying at their usual place in the desert until late into the night or when Mrs. Holt would call one or both of them.

Whichever came first.

But tonight was going to be a little different.

Tonight Keith was going to show Katie the shack after months of keeping it from her.  

He was going to  let her into his most precious, sacred space for the first time.   

.

.

.

But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t already let her in to begin with.

.

.

.

The drive wasn’t very long, but it piqued Katie’s curiosity nonetheless.

( _“Where are we going?” she asked. By now his car’s dashboard had permanent scuff marks from all the times Pidge had planted her feet there._

_He didn’t turn to face her, but he grinned nonetheless._

_“You’ll find out soon enough.”_ )

“We’re here.” he said as they got out of the car. Keith didn’t dare spare a glance at Katie as she took the sight of his beloved, though worse for wear, shack.  

“Come on,” he beckoned before they walked towards the entrance.

Katie’s silence kind of unnerved him as he fumbled to get his keys out of his pocket and into the lock.

He opened the door and turned on the lights as he let Katie in.  

“I know it’s not much but…”

The door let out a loud creak as he closed it behind them.

Keith winced.

“It’s home?” Katie supplied with a grin. He watched as she made herself comfortable on the dusty couch, setting her feet on the makeshift coffee table.

Keith shouldn’t have accepted the image of his home looking more complete with her in it.

But he did.

“Yeah,” he managed.  

The image didn’t leave his head for the next few weeks.

 

* * *

 

Maybe she shouldn’t have invited Keith over.

Between the stargazing and their regular hangouts, the past couple months had been a cesspool of both the best and most frustrating moments of Katie’s short life.

Keith couldn’t be more damn _obvious_.

There was a time when Pidge chalked it all up to Keith not really having many people he was close to.

She was probably the closest friend he ever had after Shiro, and now with Shiro away, Keith just automatically latched on and wanted to always have her within reach.

It was just recently that Katie realized that he was touch-starved.

Maybe it had something to do with his dad, but Keith rarely ever talked about him for Katie to know for sure.

Or maybe before that, with his mom.

But then again he rarely ever spoke about her, either.

Whichever the case, this was a side of Keith he could only ever show to his closest friends and Pidge was determined to be just that for him.

_But they weren’t really_ just _friends now, were they?_

That bridge had already been crossed long before and it was a little too late to be having regrets.  

Now they were truly alone with each other for the first time.  

There was no Matt or Shiro to cringe under, no Dad who’d suddenly knock on the door and Mom had gone away on a business dinner, instructing to not call and saying she won’t be calling to check up until _much,_ much later that night.

There were no more excuses, no more escape routes.

Just them and the startling confusion of their intimacy once nothing was in the way as they found themselves huddle together on her living room couch, half paying attention to the documentary they had playing.

The other half of their attention was on the fact that Katie had her head on Keith’s shoulder.

She had been in a similar position with Matt countless times before and yet with Keith it felt so _different._  

With Matt it meant familial intimacy, that the world could be against them and they’d still have each other’s backs.

But with Keith, it meant her heart pulsing maniacally under her skin, begging her to do _something_.

Or to be more specific, something _else_.

_Like move closer_.

The thought was so unlike her that it made Pidge startle in place.

“What’s wrong?”

Of course Keith would notice when she had practically jumped out of her skin beside him.

It was then that Katie noticed that they were practically pressed together from hip to shoulder and that Keith’s arm had been around her.  

Since when did he put that there?

She immediately shook her head.

“It’s nothing.”

It had become an unspoken rule between them to not probe any further when the other replied with _it’s nothing_.

“Really?”

Though Keith had never been a heckler for rules now, was he?

At this, Pidge couldn’t help but just stare.

And in a brief, traitorous moment, her gaze flitted downwards to his lips before turning back to his eyes.

They had widened, but not with disbelief.

_._

_._

_._

_Oh_.  

.

.

.

All concept of time and space melted away. There was only the moment of right _now_ and the mere inches she needed to cross before actually kissing him.

Katie blinked once.

Twice.

She could practically _feel_ the invisible rope straining under the stress as they both pulled at it.

.

.

.

Then the two of them promptly looked away at the same time.

Katie could’ve sworn the last two seconds just shaved off twenty years off her life and that whatever rope between them had finally snapped in half.  

They ended up watching the rest of the documentary in dead silence, with each of them taking up opposite ends of the couch.

Keith didn’t even _know_ anymore.  

When Mrs. Holt’s Sedan made itself visible on the driveway, the most he gave Katie was a nod before heading out the door.

.

.

.

Like the time they held hands, they didn’t bring up that night either.

But unlike that time, Keith went home with sweaty palms and burning cheeks that didn’t disappear until the next morning.  

 

* * *

 

There was a short list of people outside of family that Katie trusted and she knew that Shiro _deserved_ his place at the very top.

Katie wiped the sheen of sweat off her forehead as she typed on. Her eyes were practically burning from the strain but she was already so _close_. A few more clicks and she’d be in the Garrison’s database.

There was no way _Shiro_ of all people would make as stupid of a mistake as _pilot error._

Or any error, for that matter.  

Something was definitely up.

And it would damn Shiro’s and her family’s legacy forever if Katie didn’t find proof.

Katie paused mid-type.

Shiro’s legacy.

.

.

.

_Keith._  

The entire three days after she got the news not once had she bothered to check up on him.

As quick as she could, Pidge retrieved her phone from her pocket and dialed in his number.

He picked up after the third ring.

“ _Hello_?”

Keith sounded worse than she expected. “Hey, Keith.”

“Pidge.” The acknowledgment sent a stab of pain between her ribs.

She wasn’t sure if it had to do with how he said her name or the nickname itself.

“How are you holding up?”

“ _I’m not._ ”

“Right.”

A beat of painful silence. Katie swallowed.   

“Do you believe what they said? That it was pilot error?”  

“ _Do_ you?” she was taken aback by how he actually sounded offended.

“No.”

“ _Then you got your answer._ ”

Another beat of silence.

“Do you want me to come over?”

_“I just want to be alone for now._ ”

Katie nodded despite herself. “Alright. I understand.”

Keith immediately hung up.

She let out a sigh but steeled herself.

If Keith wanted space, she’ll give him just that.

Just like that, she turned back to her screen. A new line of text opened and she hastily read through it.

_Dammit._  

It seemed like the only way to get to the official mission feeds was by directly accessing Iverson’s personal computer.

Well.

She can do that.  

 

* * *

 

The Garrison was useless.

He _had_ to leave.

If Keith wanted the truth, HQ wasn’t the place to go.

They weren’t going to budge no matter how much he argued.

So he might as well pull back first.

.

.

.

Keith had thought that the decision was sound until Katie all but stormed her way into his living room, eyes livid.

“You can’t leave,” she hissed.

Keith glared back as he stood up. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Katie flinched but stood her ground.

“You know for damn sure that the Garrison is the next best place you can be at if you want to find them-”

“And you actually _believe_ that?”

“What are you doing out _here_ , then?”

Keith grit his teeth. “I have a feeling.”

“Oh, a _feeling_.” Pidge threw her hands up. “Consider them found already!”

“What about you? How exactly are you planning to get answers from the Garrison when you’re banned from its grounds?”

Her eyes glinted dangerously. “I have my methods.”

“And those are supposed to help you find them?”

“Well maybe it would help if you stayed!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t have any luck at the Garrison if you tried!”  

“Don’t you _dare_ doubt me-”

“Well that’s what you’re doing to me right now!”

For the life of him, Keith can’t remember the rest of the argument except for two distinct sounds.

First, it was the cracking of wood after he kicked the coffee table so hard it fell off its leg.  

Second, it was the door slamming shut after Katie walked out.

 

* * *

 

The Garrison Headquarters was always dead quiet after curfew.

This didn’t bring any comfort to Pidge.

Instead it made her all the more wary, every thump of her equipment hitting the roof immediately translating into a skip of her pulse, every beep from her screen making her clench her teeth, unease always settling sickeningly low in her gut every time she had both headphones against her ears.

She was careless last time.

Now with the HQ on high alert after a _little girl_ broke into their facilities, there was no room for error.

Paranoia set in Katie’s nerves like ice every time she came up.

She waited a beat.

Two.

Three.

There was only silence.  

Maybe it was time for a break.

And as it was, the Garrison Headquarters had a marvelous view of the constellations above.

It was almost a shame how the view gets completely wasted on her.

Almost.

Pidge knew better than to look at the stars when her brother and father were _still_ out there, still lost among them and desperate to come back home.

_It’s only for a few minutes._

Above her, the stars are as silent as ever.

Katie instantly thought back to her father and how he’d always teach her something new whenever they went out at night.

And Matt, whenever they were on the roof of their house and trying to contact Dad with that code. Pidge will never know why she needed to download the book onto her console.

She blinked back a tear before it could escape from her eyes, instead opting to preoccupy herself by tracing the patterns in the sky, naming them as she went along.

Brightest star in Canis Major.

_Sirius._

Seven-star asterism of Ursa Major.

_The Big Dipper._

Three stars in a line.

_._

_._

_._

_Orion’s Belt_.

.

.

.

Long ago, Pidge had made sure she had packed everything about Katie Holt away.

The first to go was her long hair.

Next went her name.

Then her thoughts and words, her habits.

And now, she came to realize, the lurching at the sight of a line of stars and seeing Keith in her mind was the thing she had precariously balanced on top.

_Now’s not the time._

Steeling herself, Pidge turned back to the screens and snapped her headphones on.

_Break’s over._

.

.

.

And as soon as she tuned back in, it was still the same word, over and over again.

.

.

.

_What the hell was a Voltron?_   

 

* * *

 

It was shocking the amount of patience Keith managed to muster in the past few hours.

The second the heard her voice, he only tightened his grip around his hoverbike’s handlebars.

When she revealed Sam and Matt Holt to be her family, he didn’t say anything.

And when Shiro promised to help her find them, he only looked on.

But now, with everyone assigned to their own rooms and the lights in the Castle of Lions dimmed for the night, Keith couldn’t wait any longer,  

“What are you doing here?” He asked as soon as her door slid open.

She only looked up from her laptop with a scowl. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

“You tell me first, _Pidge_.” he made his way inside.  

The nickname dripped off his voice like a curse.

Katie didn’t even flinch. Instead, she moved her console off her lap.  

“If it isn’t obvious, I snuck into the Garrison.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Should I remind you who found the Blue Lion’s energy?”

“Should I remind you who helped build the Fraunhofer machine with Hunk?”

Maybe it was the lighting in the room.

Or the fake glasses she had on.

Or maybe even the year of sleepless nights making itself clear on the lines of her face.

Keith had never seen hazel look so _cold._

Maybe that’s what made him step back in silence before turning back to the door.  

“Wait,” she called, getting off her seat. “We shouldn’t be talking like this.”

Sighing, Keith turned back to her. “You’re right.”   

“And I said some hurtful things.”

“So did I.”

He noticed the bob of her throat as she swallowed.

“Shiro may have been missing but I was right _there,_ Keith.”

He nodded stiffly. “I know.”

“But I left.”

And she did.

Physically, at least, when she slammed the door behind her.

But he did as well.

When he decided to drop out.

When he lost faith in her ideas.

When he cut himself off from the rest of the world.

Keith let out another heavy sigh.

“Are we cool now?”

“I don’t know.” The answer was honest coming from her lips. “I think so.”

There was no way they weren’t. They wouldn’t have been able to form Voltron otherwise.

But there was still a difference between civility and intimacy.

It was hard to think, when two people who used to be _something_ were suddenly back in each other’s space after being apart for so long.

It didn’t feel natural, like working out after months of inactivity.

Awkward and unsure.

Uncomfortable.

Keith felt it, and he knows Pidge picked up on it too.

Which is why he’s the first to break the silence.

“Something wrong?”

She shook her head.

“It’s nothing.”

.

.

.

The words were too familiar.

.

.

.

Maybe that’s why they hurt him the way they did.

“I’ll just head back to my room now.”

Pidge nodded mutely as he went out.

.

.

.

If Keith hadn’t known better, it sounded as if Katie hesitated.

As if she wanted to say something more.

As if she was feeling more than she let on.

.

.

.

But he _didn’t_ know.

Not now.

Not anymore.  

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [ tumblr](https://hearmyvoiceoftreason.tumblr.com) ?


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